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 Decision Making 
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Country Clubber
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Post Decision Making
I've been wondering something lately.

I am self-diagnosed with anxiety, and as such I panic a lot about what could happen. So I have a simple question...

To you without anxiety, how do you decide what is the "right" or "wrong" choice in everyday decisions or scenarios without a clear option?

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Thu Jul 10, 2014 6:46 am
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Country Clubber
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Post Re: Decision Making
you simply think about it , choose the option you like more and nolonger secondthink that choice

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Thu Jul 10, 2014 7:04 am
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Garden Frequenter
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Post Re: Decision Making
Well this is one of the ttime that I feel like Death the kid from Soul Eater.

Although everithing has not to be perfect.

Well when I am in a desicion,um let's just say that I have a hard time on it.

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Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:20 pm
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Post Re: Decision Making
Really, what I find works best is to think about whether there's an option that you really wish you could take. If there is, and if the reason you can't take it is because you're too worried about a chance that things will end poorly if you take it, then what you've gotta do is buck up and take that option. I know that I'm basically saying "try hard enough" and "ignore your anxiety" which are both basically the poster child for unhelpful advice, but in my experience, it NEVER EVER EVER turns into the worst-case scenario that you'd fear. The most common thing that happens when you take a chance on one of those "but what if" options is that it works out better than expected, and the second most common is that it didn't really work like you hoped but it still didn't go wrong like you feared, which basically ends up as "well I guess that went okay." And if you don't opt for the choice you really want to choose, no matter what happens, you'll end up stuck with the knowledge that there was an option which you wanted to take and which could have turned out so much better, but you didn't take it.

There are exceptions, of course. Stuff like "man I really want to jump off my roof but there's a chance I'll get hurt" probably WILL result in the sort of bad result that comes to mind. It all depends on how much risk there is. If the worst-case scenario is an extremely severe consequence, or if it's highly realistic (and I mean REAL realistic, not anxiety-realistic), you're better off not taking that option, because you won't look back at those options and think "I wish I did that." You'll look back and think "I'm sure glad I didn't do that, it (probably would've ended poorly/could've ended so terribly)."

Admittedly, this kind of mindset does complicate matters when faced with a decision such as "What do I want to order for dinner" but, well... Details.


edit: oh yeah, I also sometimes try to modify an option that I want so that the drawback either goes away or stops mattering, but since most options have drawbacks it usually just leads to a lengthy and pointless chain of similar options. It's something I do, not because it works but because I'm stubborn. I do think it's a good concept though, to rid yourself of the mindset that your options are always limited and their consequences are set in stone, because that just isn't true. Always something you can do differently.

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Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:02 pm
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Post Re: Decision Making
I try to let common sense guide me as much as possible, whether it's for the big things or the little things. Following my gut instinct instead inevitably leads to my gut betraying me. Words fail me as they tend to do, so I can't really explain it much better than that.

:(

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Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:44 pm
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Garden Frequenter
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Post Re: Decision Making
Love your failures.


No decision will ever have a perfect solution, and in all but the most vital choices, shuffling around desperately trying to find the perfect answer will only hurt you.
So that leaves the option "Take the one that sounds right at the moment" But as we're all well aware, that one is going to bring lots of regrets. But there's a way around that...

Take the wrong choice. Take the choice that's ludicrously inefficient, and dance in the face of statistics if it actually works out. Take the choice that makes you look a little dumb, and laugh about it.

*vigorous nod*



BONUS TIP: With an inconsequential decision, it can be a big help to occasionally just.. IGNORE one of the factors. In the classic "Where do you want to go for dinner? I dunno where do YOU wanna go?" situation, every so often just... completely ignore everyone else's tastes. Can't tell if people want something specific but are just being polite? Well *I* want to go for vietnamese soup, and I've been really cooperative/wishy-washy during the last three dinner decisions. So I can allow myself to be bold and just say "WE'RE DOIN IT". If someone has a problem with your choice, it's easy to back down and let THEM choose instead, especially since they were the one who stopped your bold decision! No worries!

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Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:56 am
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